"Moving on doesn't take a day, it takes lots of little steps to be able to break free of your broken self."
For most of us, the holidays are when we reminisce on memories of the past. The time when we remember those we've had to say goodbye to. Lost comes in different formats and grief has many forms. This year, I found myself facing memories that I thought I had moved past. But, even though I was remembering, it was shocking to realize I was no longer hurting. The memories were a reminder of a life I'd once lived. One I said goodbye to. One that taught me lessons that helped shape the woman that I am today. Though this is a diary blog, I've never preface the posts that I make on here; this is a first. To all those remembering choosing themselves this holiday season, this short poem is for you. You did the right thing. Even if it hurst now, keep pushing, keep grieving and you will heal. It gets better.
We will each remember our version of the story we lived
We will each have our own versions of events engrained in our minds
We will each carry our own memories of our shared history
That’s not to say either of us is wrong
Because in the end, we each will remember the hurt, the disappointment, and the pain
That’s why I choose to let go
I choose to remember the narrative that I lived from my own perspective
I choose me, selfishly and without remorse
To you, I was a burden, to me, you are history
Good, bad, painful, joyful and all else
Our story has two sides
To healing and remembering.
To those that are alone this holiday season, whether by choice or because you are frorced to, this is a reminder to push through. To let yourself feel. To let yourself grieve. To be kind to you as you work on your healing. Some people come in our lives to teach us lessons. Learn them, choose you and heal. Happy Holidays!