Healing

We all know when we’re physically healed from something. Though a broken bone sometimes leaves aches behind, once it’s healed, you find a way to work with that limb again. There might be some limitation, but you adapt to those as needed. But, I find that is not the case for emotional trauma.

Healing from trauma is not linear, at least, it hasn’t been in my case. Some days, I feel like I take multiple steps backwards. Those are the days that I regress into being a people pleaser no matter the personal cost. The days that I let others cross my boundaries just to avoid arguments.

Other days, I remember my voice and I use it. Other days, I say enough and stand my ground. In the moment, I sometimes don’t even realize what a monumental step I’m taking. I don’t realize just how proud I should be of how far I’ve come. I don't realize what a huge thing I've accomplished by saying no despite the anxiety in doing so.

Even though my healing may not be linear nor perfect. Even though it is not quick nor easy. Even though I don't always realize the progress I've made, I am healing. Slowly, surely and unequivocally, I am healing.