Choose Kindness

Don’t let the world shape who you become, become someone who can shape the world. Every day the news gets worse, fear rises, and conditions worsen. Don’t let that define our views of the world. Instead of letting what’s happening shape our views, we should let the vision we have for the world lead our actions. Every small act and every small deed count. It might not seem big to you, but always remember the pay it forward method, your small deed can cause a chain reaction.

Let kindness drive our actions. Kindness is not one size fits all. There are millions of ways to do an act of kindness without going out of your way. And if you ever stop and wonder if something is too small to count, do it anyway, no matter how small. Sometimes the most impactful act of kindness comes from those just trying to make a difference within their means. So, no matter how small, no matter how insignificant it may seem to you, just remember to be kind. We might not be able to donate to causes that matter to us or volunteer time, but an act of kindness can be free and sometimes, we might not even notice. So, in general, practice kindness. Kindness is not weakness.

Helplessness

I’ve always heard that you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. While I knew that to be true, I never understood just how much until I became a bystander to my cousin’s battle with alcoholism. The thing that kills me the most is that he’s admitted that he needs help, he just refuses to get the help that he needs. He believes he has more time, but how much time does one really have when you’re battling addiction?

Helplessness, being a bystander as a loved one self-destruct and not being able to do anything but watch and hope for the best knowing that the dark path they’re on, nine times out of then, ends in tragedy. I’ve been through a lot; I’m sure a lot of people have. However, I think that watching someone that I love destroy themselves while all I can do is be a bystander is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to face. Watching a loved one battle addiction is its own form of tragic heartbreak.

As humans, it’s easy to judge someone by the mistakes they’ve made. Always wondering, whether subconsciously or otherwise, why. Why did that person choose this? Why can’t they/won’t they stop? As someone with my own personal struggles, I can’t say that I don’t understand the temptation. I truly do. There have been instances when I’d just want the pain to stop; to feel numb to it all. I guess being a bystander to someone struggling with addiction has helped me learned that this is not a road I want to go down. Not only does it not help, but it’ll also undoubtedly make whatever I’ve faced worse. I ask myself; would I have that perspective without all that I’ve witnessed? Whatever the answer, I’m grateful.

So, if you’re out there, struggling with addiction, please find help. They are free resources available. I can’t imagine the strength it will take to reach out from what I imagine is a dark place, but we all have inner strength. I beg you, use yours. If not for you, do it for your family, or for whatever will help you get the help that you need. As a loved one forced to be a bystander, my heart breaks daily. I know I don’t have the right words, but I will say this, from the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry for whatever is causing you so much pain. May you overcome and rise above it!

https://www.publichealth.org/resources/addiction/

Failure is a Part of Life

“If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place.”

Nora Roberts

Every now and then, we get the feeling that we’re failing, that we should be doing more. Is it because of social conformity or our own inner insecurity? Or is it because failing is our worst nightmare? I have always been terrified of failing. I was raised to get the best grades, to be the politest and every other superlative you can think of. When I did these things, I was praised. Is it any wonder that now in my adult life, failing is my biggest fear?

As I’m finding out who I am as a person, I am learning that failing is a part of life. A scary part but a part of it, nonetheless. I am learning to embrace my fear of failing and to do things afraid. Because the alternative is that I let fear control me and I don’t take risks. But is that any way to live? I’m learning that with success comes failure and I can’t want one without risking the other. So, something I remind myself of everyday is to not let the fear of failure stop me from trying new things or from chasing new dreams. Who knows what the future holds? so, don't let the fear of failure stops you from taking risks that could lead to success. if you're scared to start, do it afraid! Starts slow, but start, nonetheless. After all, failure is a part of life.