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Juliet's Diary

In no way do I have life figured out, but I'm learning as I try to live mine to the fullest.

Fountain pen
Flowers on Wood

Being an immigrant, I am no stranger to uncertainty. Coming to the US, every tomorrow came with its own set of uncertainties. Being the first in my family to attend college in this country was its own set of uncertainty. Unexpectedly moving from FL to MA in my last year of college was uncertain.

Uncertainty is a point that has been driven home even more with the global happenings of the past few years. 2020 brought a global pandemic and racial divisiveness in the US, 2021 brought the beginning of a recession on top of the aforementioned topics and 2022 brought a European war.

As a millennial, I find myself asking, when does this uncertainty end? If the pandemic has shown us anything is that bad things don't take turns, they all just pile on. As a result, we are the generations that have learned to roll with the punches. The increasing cost of education and it's resulting student loan debts. The increasing cost of everyday goods and the increasing cost of rent and mortgages that wipe out any pay increase. I think it's fair to say that we are a generation for the history books. Let's just do our best and hang in there. Also, congratulations on getting up every day and doing what it takes to keep going. This life has been a lot of uncertainty.

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How can something feel both limitless and yet so finite? How can I wish for it to stop yet also wish for it to pass by quicker? Why is it when I want time to stop, it moves and I feel as if somehow, I have missed so much. But yet, when I want it to pass by faster, it seems to stop. Where has the time gone? But also, why is there so much left?

Life is short and unpredictable. None of us know how much time we are allotted in this life. In a way, it makes life precious and gives us a reason to make each moment count. But at the same time, that also comes with its own set of pressures

Pressures to make great memories. To strive for a better tomorrow. To accomplish bigger goals. And so many more. Then, that’s when it gets truly ironic. In this invisible race for a better tomorrow, oftentimes we forget to enjoy the present. Then, as the years go by, we look back and we wonder; we regret and we wish for the impossible, to reverse time.

To all the dreams I’ve put on hold, to the missed opportunities. To trying to figure everything out at once. To the dreams that I’ve fought for and accomplished. To taking it one day at a time. To the irony that is time itself. May we learn to live in the present while dreaming of better futures. May we celebrate the small wins and the big ones. May we just be!

Limitless, finite and unpredictable, like time....

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I look around me and all I see is destruction, pain, anger and helplessness

I look around me and I try my hardest to find the light through the darkness

I try to convince myself that the light is there despite how hard it is to see it

As I continue searching for that light, I try not to be numb but sympathetic

I try not to turn a blind eye but instead be informed, no matter how heartbreaking

I look around me and I just want to scream my hopelessness in the face of the mounting tragedies that keep on coming, but I refuse to give up!

I will keep hoping, I will keep dreaming and I will keep on getting back up!

I will persevere!

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